Do you remember the times you read an article/paper and you couldn’t understand what the author wanted to say even though you know the underlying concepts? Even the most brilliant ideas can be lost in poor writing or simplest ideas can be hard to understand. Choppy paragraphs, misplaced phrases, and grammatical run-ons can obscure your argument and frustrate your reader.
In this post, I will share what I learned from Koc University Academic Writing class videos and materials.
Topic and Stress
You can divide a sentence into two parts: the topic and the stress. The topic is what the sentence is about, and the stress is what you want to say about the topic or what is new information.
| Topic Part, Readers: | Stress Part, Readers |
|---|---|
| - Expect to understand what the sentence is about. | - Expect to see new and imporant ideas. |
| - Try to connect the sentence to what they have already read. | - Focus most of their interpretative effort. |
Example:
Accounts of depression evolved after psychologists introduced the concepts of defeat and entrapment.
Known-New Contract
- Introduce your readers to the “big picture” first by giving them information they already know (the topic part).
- Then they can link what’s familiar to the new information you give them (the stress part).
As that new information becomes familiar, it too becomes old information that can link to newer information.
Example:
Accounts of depression evolved after psychologists introduced the concepts of defeat and entrapment. These concepts have been implicated in theoretical accounts of anxiety and suicide. Such theories..
Example 2:
However, managed WebRTC services using SFU architecture and SDN-assisted IP multicasting of scalable video within WebRTC system are discussed for the first time in this paper
The sentence above starts with a lot of complex terms and we don’t know their importance until the end of sentence, which is bad. The simple fix is just reversing the order!
However, this paper is the first to analyze managed WebRTC services using SFU architecture and SDN-assisted IP multicasting of scalable video within WebRTC system
What If I Want to Stress Multiple Ideas in a Sentence?
- Try to introduce just one major idea per sentence, especially if the idea is complex.
- If your text is complex and you have two ideas worth emphasizing, create two sentences.
Example:
However, it uses the already limited upload bandwidth of clients inefficiently and is not scalable with the number of clients, i.e., it becomes impractical as the number of endpoints grows bigger.
Instead of the sentence above, you can write:
However, mesh topology uses the already limited upload bandwidth of clients inefficiently. It is not scalable with the number of clients, i.e., it becomes impractical as the number of endpoints grows bigger.
Sometimes two sentences should be one if they refer to the same idea.
Example:
Such leaders should make the work of their followers more pleasant. Moreover, they should treat the followers as equals, and respect them.
Instead of the sentence above, you can write:
Such leaders should make the work of their followers more pleasant by treating them equally and respectfully.
- Move the subject and the verb close together.
- Break apart sentences that contain too much new information.
- Use transitional phrases to indicate relationships: moreover, in addition, consequently, therefore…
Run-Ons
A run-on is two complete thoughts run together with no sign to mark the break between them or with just a comma:
Then, in [2], they also presented a bisection algorithm to compute \(\epsilon\)-pseudospectral abscissa of a fixed matrix, i.e. \(\alpha_{\epsilon}(A)\), and tried to compute minimum \(\epsilon\)-pseudospectral abscissa over feasible matrices, however, an algorithm wasn’t presented yet.
vs
Then, in [2], they also presented a bisection algorithm to compute \(\epsilon\)-pseudospectral abscissa of a fixed matrix, i.e. \(\alpha_{\epsilon}(A)\). They also tried to compute minimum \(\epsilon\)-pseudospectral abscissa over feasible matrices. However, an algorithm wasn’t presented yet.
I personally didn’t like the second version too because it has too many “they also” parts.
Fragments
A sentence fragment is a group of words that lacks a subject or a verb and does not express a complete thought:
Purdue offers many majors in engineering. Such as electrical, chemical, and industrial engineering.
Purdue offers many majors in engineering such as electrical, chemical, and industrial engineering.
Parallelism
Words in a pair or series should have a parallel structure.
Not Parallel: The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately, and in a detailed manner.
Parallel: The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately, and thoroughly.
Misplaced Modifiers
Misplaced modifiers do not describe the word in the way the writer intended because of their wrong place in a sentence.
George couldn’t drive to work in his small sports car with a broken leg.
With a broken leg, George couldn’t drive to work in his small sports car.
In this example, we and transformer models know that George has a broken leg, not the car. But grammatically, the modifier “with a broken leg” seems to describe the car. This is an easy example but in a academic text, it can be more complex and harder to spot.
In order to avoid misplaced modifiers, place the words as close as possible to what they describe.
Dangling Modifiers
A modifier that opens a sentence must be followed immediately by the word it is meant to describe. Otherwise the sentence takes on an unintended meaning.
While smoking a pipe, my dog sat with me.
While smoking a pipe, I sat with my dog.
While I was smoking a pipe, my dog sat with me.
Again, this is also an easy example but in a academic text, it can be more complex and harder to spot.
Sentence Variety
Too many sentences with the same structure and length can grow monotonous for readers.
Varying sentence style and structure can also reduce repetition and add emphasis.
Long sentences work well for incorporating a lot of information, and short sentences can often maximize crucial points.
Overusing Long Sentences
Long sentences can be difficult to read and understand, especially if they contain multiple ideas or clauses. Breaking up long sentences into shorter ones can improve clarity and readability.
The company reported that yearly profit growth, which had steadily increased by more than 7% since 1989, had stabilized in 2009 with a 0% comp, and in 2010, the year they launched the OWN project, actually decreased from the previous year by 2%. This announcement stunned Wall Street analysts, but with the overall decrease in similar company profit growth worldwide, as reported by Author (Year) in his article detailing the company’s history, the company’s announcement aligns with industry trends and future industry predictions.
The company reported that profit growth stabilized in 2009, though it had steadily increased by more than 7% since 1989. In 2010, the year they launch the OWN project, company profit growth decreased from the previous year. This announcement stunned Wall Street analysts. According to Author (Year), however, this decrease is exemplar of a trend across similar company profit growth worldwide; it also supports future predictions for the industry.
Notice that the sentence count only increased by two, but thanks to the choice of where a sentence begin and end, the paragraph is easier to read. Moreover, the sentence variety is increased.
Short Sentences
Read the text below with your voice:
Too many short sentences can hurt an essay. They can make the writing seem choppy. The writing may seem like it is below a college level. Readers may lose interest. They may not want to continue reading.
See the effect? Let’s fix it:
Too many short sentences can hurt an essay, for it can make the writing seem choppy and below a college level. Because of this, readers may lose interest and not want to continue reading.
Change the Rhythm!
Change the rhythm of your writing by varying sentence length and structure. As you will see the example below, varying sentence length and structure can make your writing more interesting and engaging.
Vary the rhythm by alternating short and long sentences:
The Winslow family visited Canada and Alaska last summer to find some Native American art. In Anchorage stores they found some excellent examples of soapstone carvings. But they couldn’t find a dealer selling any of the woven wall hangings they wanted. They were very disappointed when they left Anchorage empty-handed.
The Winslow family visited Canada and Alaska last summer to find some native American art, such as soapstone carvings and wall hangings. Anchorage stores had many soapstone items available. Still, they were disappointed to learn that wall hangings, which they had especially wanted, were difficult to find. Sadly, they left empty-handed.
I think I see something similar to this in the novels I’ve read.
Repeated Subjects or Topics
- Handling the same topic for several sentences can lead to repetitive sentences. When that happens, consider using these parts of speech to fix the problem:
Relative pronouns
Indiana used to be mainly an agricultural state. It has recently attracted more industry. Indiana, which used to be mainly an agricultural state, has recently attracted more industry.
Participles
Wei Xie was surprised to get a phone call from his sister. He was happy to hear her voice again. Surprised to get a phone call from his sister, Wei Xie was happy to hear her voice again.
Prepositions
The university has been facing pressure to cut its budget. It has eliminated funding for important programs. Under pressure to cut its budget, the university has eliminated funding for important programs.
Final Words
Finally, all these rules and tips are not strict rules, but guidelines to help you improve your writing. Also, it is very easy to forget them. The best thing you can do is keep writing constantly, while editing your own writing with these rules in mind. Over time, you will internalize these rules and your writing will improve. I also believe that reading a lot of well-written articles and books will help you improve your writing skills.
References
- Koc University Writing Center
- Sentence Variety. (2018). Retrieved from https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/academic_writing/sentence_variety/index.html
- Making Complex Writing Intelligible with Known-New Contract. (2018). Global Communication Center, Carnegie Mellon University. Retrieved from https://www.cmu.edu/gcc/handouts/old-new-handout-pdf